Monday, 25 August 2014

monument hill

I remember when miss Nicola took us  to monument hill.  the view  was cool and i saw
big hills and cars looked like moving little dogs ,the  houses looked tall, trees looked like its saying hello,and heaps of tall  green and brown grass.
Then we went for a walk and we saw heaps of colourful flowers. we were sitting under a shady tree because it was a hot day.my cousin  and I was sitting on the roadway when a car came up we  got a fright because the cars were coming in and out and we were sceard of them that they might run our chromebook over. and my cousin was really scared because she had our teachers stuff in her bag and she had her chromebook she couldent carry it all.

    

3 comments:

  1. I love the way you describe what it was like when the cars zoomed up the hill. I feel like I am there when I read it! Make sure you read each sentence again and again and put in your full stops in the correct places so your reader doesn't get lost because it doesn't make sense.

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  2. Hey pania I loved the part when you said that the cars looked like little dogs walking because that exactly how they looked. I think that you should change the colours because it was actually hurting my eyes. But other than that Great work !!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Hey, hey, hey Pania, well done. I like the way you said the cars looked like moving dogs. I spotted a few mistakes. I think you should change the colours for your writing. Remember to use capital letters and put a space after a full stop. Keep up the good work. Ka mau te wehe kotero.

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